Dad, Please Try a Little Harder

Chapter 72 - 67 It Is Very Easy to Pass the Draft 3



Qian Quan laughed, then turned to ask Li Zhiyi, “Ajiu, what do you think of the ‘consciousness’ demonstrated by today’s artificial intelligence?”

Li Zhiyi said, “Executing instructions along predetermined paths.”

Qian Quan didn’t understand the technical terms, but he got the gist, and sighed, “In the future, ‘the internet has memory’ might become reality.”

The three of them chatted while having their meal, and in the end, Qian Quan confirmed his investment in One Nine Equals Nine Technology Company.

Throughout the process, Li Zihe didn’t mention anything related to martial arts, although he had many questions he wanted to ask.

At Windsor Town Middle School.

Qian Wenlin was alone in the office, passionately typing on the keyboard.

The last manuscript he submitted finally received positive feedback from the editor (unlike the rejections before), stating that the quality of the manuscript was excellent, meeting the standards for acceptance, but suggested modifying the ending a bit.

According to Qian Wenlin’s original manuscript, the male protagonist and his first love girlfriend had multiple affairs, but eventually, the prodigal son returned and reconciled with his family.

In the last scene of the novel, the protagonist, with his wife and son, roams in a mall, riding the escalator from below upwards, while his first love rides the escalator from above downwards alone. As they pass each other, they exchange a glance of reminiscence, carried away by the wind.

The editor felt that this treatment was too casual and that the protagonist’s reflection was inadequate, hinting at a wrong direction, and asked for a modification of the ending to elevate it.

Therefore, Qian Wenlin decided to add a section where the protagonist, under the coercion of his first love, has a final affair with her in the office. Amid the intense conflict between spirit and flesh, he comes to a realization and returns to innocence.

In this affair, his first love takes the initiative, portraying an evil image reminiscent of Eve tempting Adam with the apple.

She tightly embraces the protagonist, spouting hot but false love words, and actively leans in for a forceful kiss.

“Her kiss was like an inescapable blaze from within to out, burning him entirely. In a state of enrapture, he was burnt to ashes, his body turned transparent, soul and flesh completely twisted and deformed, presenting a floaty state only experienced in dreams.”

“He was no longer a person; his human essence was obliterated, turned into desire itself, submissive to her, submissive to desire, full of longing and pleasure!”

“That’s not love, definitely not! It was merely the animalistic instinct! He became a slave to desire! Weak! Lowly! Even worse than a male prostitute!” “What rekindled old feelings? Just the past seen through the lens of time, appearing unusual. In reality, at this moment, he was both disgusted and dirty!”

In the revised version, Qian Wenlin criticized and castigated the protagonist ruthlessly, eventually having the protagonist’s wife demand a divorce, leave home, and go on a travel to ease her mind.

The protagonist’s first love was reported internally for having an improper relationship with a colleague, leading to a bad influence, and thus lost her job.

Thereafter, the protagonist roams the world with his child searching for his wife.

In the final scene, the protagonist, along with his child, kneels on the street, remorseful and crying.

His first love, who had just completed her resignation process, drives by. She rolls down the car window, looks at him expressionlessly, rolls up the window, and drives away.

Qian Wenlin sent the revised version to the editor.

Not long after, the editor replied, “Perfect! I’ll go through the process with the chief editor, and inform you immediately once there’s a result.”

Judging by the editor’s words, it’s almost settled.

“Alright.”

Qian Wenlin replied, exhaled lightly, and leaned back on his chair, feeling extremely delighted.

After lunch, colleagues gradually returned to the office.

The first one who had published an article in “New Story Monthly” and earned a 5,000 manuscript fee saw Qian Wenlin contemplatively reclining on his chair, and asked, “Wenlin, haven’t you gone for lunch yet?”

“I’m going now. 1 was just replying to an editor.”

“What editor?”

“The editor from ‘New Story Monthly’. Didn’t you suggest submitting our drafts there? I wrote a short novella when 1 had some free time recently and sent it over.”

“Today their editor contacted me to modify the ending, so I revised it and sent it back. Then the editor mentioned they would discuss it with the chief editor and asked me to wait for a reply. I’m not sure what that means.”

“They said they’d discuss it with the chief editor?”

“Yeah, that’s what they said.”

“That most likely means it’s been accepted, and the editor is applying for a publication schedule.”

“Really? I just wrote it casually. Let’s wait and see.”

The other party felt speechless.

He thought to himself, “What happened to Wenlin’s attitude? Was he showing off?”

What goes around comes around..


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